Asking better

Asking better

Asking better means knowing that if you don't get what you wanted, you are setting your sights too low. Image of an Indian child with one hand and one finger raised slightly behind to ask a question while looking forward into a laptop in a lounge area. The child is wearing a white Harvard t-shirt with maroon lettering and insignia and has black hair and eyes, looking about six years old. Image credit: Rohit Farmer on Unsplash.

Asking better means knowing that if you don’t get what you wanted, you are setting your sights too low. Image: Rohit Farmer on Unsplash.

Sometimes we need something. We need that thing, here, in the material world.

It is enough to ask. We don’t need to ask countless times. We don’t need to hyperfocus, only focus on the thing we need, and describe it to the Universe in endless detail which we picture and obsess over until we get it.

Trust in the Universe means we ask, we empty ourselves out, and we receive.

Most of us are decent asking for what we want. We are also decent at receiving. Especially if it looks exactly like what we asked for.

Emptying out is where we fall down.

Emptying out is what helps us get the next level of what we wanted.

We don’t want or need the thing at the level we are at. Everything we receive changes us.

Let me repeat: Everything we receive changes us. If it doesn’t change us, we are asking too small.

Given that everything we receive changes us, we have to be ready for it to change us

Why bother asking for, getting, or even wanting what won’t change us and take us to our next higher level, spiritually? Since everything we get changes us, let it changes us toward the self-realization we are really here for. There is no contradiction; material things help us evolve, or we would not be here on a material planet doing material things and expecting spiritual results.

When we get what we think we didn’t ask for: We didn’t truly empty out. We not only told the Universe what we wanted, we gave way too much detail, obsessed over it, decided we knew best, and this was what we wanted. This is the Catalogue buying approach to getting what we want from the Universe. It, too, is childish. OK, maybe it’s adolescent. It seems foolish and short-sighted to me.

What we want are the Goods

The true goods. The ones we don’t even know the fullness of, or we’d simply get them for ourselves. Why ask the Universe for what we could get for ourselves? Pointless. Ask the Universe for what only it (aka your Highest Self) could give you. The version of that new thing that will help you evolutionarily as well as materially. Once you ask for it, everything you get afterward is an answer to that request.

The Law of Attraction is a law. It doesn’t not work part of the time. It always works. When you ask and attract what you didn’t think you wanted, guess again. This is what you wanted, and the Universe has given it to you on a platter. One way to learn from it is to empty out and then ask again. Remember to take the emptying part seriously. You do that by using the opportunity to look deeply within yourself, dig deeply into your desires, look at where they come from and where they are taking you and get honest with yourself.

Asking better

Asking smarter, better, more evolved, wiser may be exactly what the Universe had in mind for you. For example, your work—a job or consulting contract or loan or grant or investment in your business. If you keep not getting what you keep applying for, you are probably low-balling, underplaying your hand, and selling yourself short and possibly out.

These are the principles I use with myself. Are they painful sometimes? Yes! Was it written in the Law of Attraction that it always had to feel good? Never cause pain? That’s not the Universe I know and live in, who operates as often by pain as by pleasure. We are pain- and pleasure-motivated creatures until we really truly detach (empty out) and then it is all bliss. We are all on that journey. Getting on it consciously really helps. “A Sufi finds joy in sudden disappointment.” From those who don’t know what they’re doing with what they’ve got, everything will be taken from them. (Conversely, for those who make the most of what they’ve received—including painful things, not just pleasant, agreeable, delightful, great things—more will be given.

For more posts like this one:

This post is one of a series on the importance of emptying out if we seek to receive which I have written at different stages of RAISING CLARITY. The first one is here: “Empty, Ask, Receive.” The second is here: “Emptiness Takes Practice.” I have given special thought to fundraisers needing to “empty out” as well before doing the asking that is such an important part of any fundraiser’s job. Here it is: “Abundance Requires Emptiness.”

  • Julie
    Posted at 21:20h, 05 December Reply

    Very interesting idea, Beth! I’d love to see an example or two showing the distinction from the “list” form of asking and the “real goods” asking/receiving experience. I kind of almost understand, but not quite…. Thanks for delving into these sticky issues–sticky for me, at least!

    • Beth
      Posted at 18:31h, 06 December Reply

      Julie, first, thanks so much for reading! I’m glad you like this idea. It is easy to get attached to the exact details of what or who we want in our life when we seek to manifest something. I’ve found that it is not at all our job to mess with that level of detail. If I need money to show up, I ask for money to show up. I don’t tell the forces that do the manifesting for me (which are discussed in more detail here: ) how to bring me the money. I DO open myself up to more money. I allow myself to notice but not dwell on why I want it (because we are the single greatest opponent of our own manifestation and if we are not truly in alignment/integrity with wanting what we want, it can make it hard to receive). I begin to vibe with the freedom and greater ease of having it. That’s my end of things. I may spend more–not crazily more, but enough to put myself in that other flow. I empty out and surrender to having this and know that it will change me deeply.
      Likewise, if I want an apartment, I ask for a space that is [insert your adjectives here] but I would not say where I wanted it to be, what it had to look like, what neighborhood it had to be in. My sense of adventure in finding out what the Universe has for me is helped immensely by emptying out. Again, this other post really digs into detail about what our job is and what’s the job of the forces we collaborate with any time we seek to manifest:
      In short, I am saying the less detail, the better while still keeping enough distinctiveness around the thing I’m asking for.

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