No More Drama: Have More Time, Save More Money, Be More Happy

No More Drama: Have More Time, Save More Money, Be More Happy

a woman falling into a blue pool with the back of her hand to her forehead

No more drama: have more time, save more money, be more happy. Don’t fall into a big pool of drama this summer! Watch what you are growing in your work garden and weed it out! This image is by Tris, via Morguefile.

No More Drama: Have More Time, Save More Money, Be More Happy

Have you noticed that you need everything to be Very Important?

I certainly have, in both my personal life and my fundraising work.

Summer is a great time to notice what you are growing in your garden:

  • Do you like eating it? Because you are growing it and you should like what you grow in your work and personal “gardens.”
  • If it’s a surprise: does it taste good?  Eat lots and grow more next year.
  • If you don’t like it, it’s a weed. Pull it up!
  • I’m putting us all on notice: Pull up drama weeds! Let’s stop growing drama. This post is meant to help. If you have questions about details, please ask me! If I blog in response to your question, you get a free half-hour of coaching or consulting.

How to Remove Drama

  1. Assume: if you are seeing it, you are growing it. (Hardest first. Try trusting me on this.)
  2. Picture the ways life could be simpler–less dramatic–for you and/or your organization or project.
  3. Face all you’d have to give up in order to have life be simpler.
  4. Start giving it up. Allow it to be hard at first. Be willing to notice where you are creating drama and making life harder. Just noticing will help a lot of it change very quickly.
  5. Get used to things becoming simpler. It takes practice.

Drama Costs You

If we stop drama, life is not only simpler. We will have more time, save more money, and be more happy. Our fundraising will be easier. Our organizations and projects will go more smoothly.

In Social: Why Our Brains are Wired to Connect, Matthew D. “Lieberman observes that simply

having a friend you see on most days gives the equivalent happiness boost of earning an additional $100,000 of income each year.

He also says that “seeing your neighbors on a regular basis gives as much happiness as an extra $50,000.”

Less drama in your life increases your number of friends.

This bumps up your experiential income.*


*My phrase. Do you like it? Quote me! Your experiential income is how wealthy you feel–your abundance.

Note: The quotes about Lieberman’s findings come from Arthur C. Brooks’s book Love Your Enemies (2019), pages 34-35. Lieberman’s numbers are in his book on page 247.

 

 

6 Comments
  • Darryl Burks
    Posted at 15:29h, 18 July Reply

    Great advice. But our minds always seem to dream up bad outcomes. It takes conscious effort to imagine a best case scenario. One trick I use is to ask myself what it is I am actually afraid will happen. Then ask if anything has actually happened to make that likely. Usually the answer is no.

    • Beth
      Posted at 15:48h, 18 July Reply

      Darryl, hi there! Nice to see you here again. I’m sorry this came across as “great advice,” actually. I meant it to be acutely practical. Once we notice what our mind is doing, it seems clear that conscious effort is required, always, to effect change. I like your trick! And since it took us effort to become dramatic (we weren’t born that way), it will just take conscious effort to become undramatic.

  • Marissa
    Posted at 17:07h, 30 July Reply

    I looooove this. Thank you for sharing!!

    • Beth
      Posted at 17:13h, 30 July Reply

      Why, shucks, thank you, Marissa! I’d love to know why. Always a question, with me!

      • Marissa
        Posted at 17:39h, 30 July Reply

        Sure! I love it because I’ve had a couple close relationships recently, and I’ve noticed how HUGELY my happiness went up having consistent relationships that I saw many/most days out of the week and/or talked to every day. Emphasis on the SEEING, but, keeping up through text every day is also better than not (I think?… jury’s a bit out on that, as I dislike texting). Also, I love the simplicity and freedom this makes me feel. That if I dislike something, it’s a weed, and just pull it up! I have something in mind that I’ve been afraid to pull up, for example. And reading your post made me think reframed about it, “Well gee what am I so afraid of? It’s a weed! I have a whole beautiful garden growing!”

        • Beth
          Posted at 17:56h, 30 July Reply

          Wow, Marissa, I am always glad when I ask you for more detail! This is exquisite.

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