09 Feb Commitment Will Change Your Life
Commitment Will Change Your Life
There are no two ways around it. If you want to change your life, commitment is what will do it. Here’s what I know, and what you probably know deep down, too:
Commitment is the Only Tool that Works
You can have all the wealth and resources in the world; if you want to make a change in your life, what matters is your commitment. Period.
How to Change Your Life, Starting with Commitment
Once you know what change you want, do this:
- Commit to it.
- Set a meeting date and time with yourself to begin your change process and keep your meeting. Your meetings don’t need to be frequent, and they don’t need to be long. Your change will still get made.
- During your meeting, focus on the steps you see you will need to make your change. Just what you see in front of you is enough; you will see more as you move forward.
- Each time you meet, set your next meeting. If you ever have to change your meeting time, reschedule–don’t cancel without recalendaring it.
- Take notes during your meetings of your agreements with yourself and action steps. This allows you to keep continuity and momentum when you have your next meeting.
- No change is too hard, no steps are too many if you “chunk it up” as I describe here.
- Repeat, til your change is made. And recommit as needed!
This process has not changed since the dawn of human history. It is what I use. It is what my clients use. (See my Testimonials: my role is guide, goad, and cheerleader in the change process.)
And it’s what I hope to help you do, as my blog subscriber or reader. (Subscribe here.)
I promise to give away my knowledge free in my blog, and that’s what I’m doing. Simple, step by step.
Does that make it easy?
Depends on how resistant you are to choosing.
Choosing is the Core of Commitment
When we commit, we are in fact choosing over and over to focus on what thing we want. This is because there are constant pulls on our attention.
Distraction is rife.
But by my understanding, we incarnated to understand how to do things in limited time and space.
We have plenty of choices to make. This is part of why we are here.
So let’s get real about change-making. Until we do, we will be mystified by it, cynical or starry-eyed but in neither case actually getting the changes in our lives we want so we can be who we are beyond the limitations of time and space.
Manageable Increments of Time
Notice you don’t need gobs of time. Your new commitment doesn’t take over your life. That’s a quick path to burnout, or cynicism.
Your new commitment needs to be nurtured, nourished, and ultimately integrated into the greater garden of your life. So, you need to devote regular increments of time. Like, 10 minutes a day. Even 5 once you get clear on what you’re doing. Or an hour a week. Depends on your commitment.
Regularity is what matters. Consistency shows commitment.
How You Know You Are Getting Somewhere: More Resistance, Not Less
Be prepared for anti-commitment voices to rise up and try to get your attention “all of a sudden.” Nothing is wrong. This is how you actually know you’re getting somewhere!
If you already have a self-observation (meditation, mindfulness, yoga, Focusing) practice, you know how to witness these voices without obeying them.
Then they get more creative or stinkier and think up new ways to distract you. Again, nothing is wrong.
You just use or learn your tools to outlast them, letting them know you hear them–and you are gonna keep right on.
Questions to get you started:
Look honestly at your existing commitments: everything showing up in your life consistently is the result of a commitment you made, consciously or unconsciously. With this understanding: what are your existing commitments?
What commitments would you like to change now? (You can make a list of ones you’d like to change at a later date, and calendar them to come back to.)
What is the very first step to changing the very most important one of these commitments? (Hint: go back to the numbered list at the top of the post.)
It is not the right advice that liberates, but the action based on it.
–Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That, transl. Maurice Frydman
If you’d like my help, I’m moved to talk with you free of charge. I’m interested in working with folks who commit to the changes they want to make in their lives. (You don’t have to know how; that’s my job.)