20 Jul Fascinating Failure
Fascinating failure: a dead dandelion image by vintagelolkats on morguefile.
Fascinating Failure
I offered a Healing Power of Moving Money Workshop in New York City. I was really scared for some reason about the fact that I was doing it in NYC, even though I’d done it numerous times before.
The strange and cool thing was what happened after I worked through the layers of fear, and then did what I was afraid to do.
The workshop “failed” in all the ways I obsessed that it would–and yet starting a few hours before it took place, I have felt completely differently about it than I did obsessing about it in advance.
Ever since the morning of the workshop and very much during and after I have felt blessed, grateful, blissed, complete, richly rewarded, well compensated, and educated.
Am I crazy? Maybe. (But that would be stuff for another blog post.)
Am I putting a good face on it? No–or I would not be showing off my failure in public.
Am I in love with the Divine Curriculum’s special teachings just for me? Now we are getting warmer.
Am I grateful for the experience 150%? Getting hot!
Am I moved to the point of preferring this specific failure over all other outcomes? Blazing true!
I could not have come up with a better outcome: failure in every one of the measures I obsessed about and complete satisfaction with the outcome.
Who wrought this? The Divine Curriculum. I Am my own best teacher.
I invite you to take my blessing into your own heart and rewrite an experience here in a Comment to this post to experience Your own blazing truth. Tell the story from beginning to end as though you meant it to go exactly as it did. Even trying to write it this way heals failure and redeems the experience. Try it and you will see. You don’t have to publish it here, of course!*
For more of this approach:
*The person I got this exercise from is Catherine MacCoun, in her Becoming An Alchemist.
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Posted at 22:11h, 21 March[…] Fascinating Failure […]
Mattie
Posted at 02:41h, 22 JulyReminds me of: https://mattiereitman.wordpress.com/2012/01/16/anti-oppression-a-challenge-a-commitment/
Beth
Posted at 16:30h, 22 JulyWow, Mattie. I love your “post-mortem.” I’m really impressed! And so get the feelings and the experience. Thank you!
Beth G
Posted at 15:45h, 20 JulyI helped do the initial organizing work for a research training in D.C., on a topic I knew very little about. I had to step back from the planning process because I was taking a month-long residential writing retreat that I promised myself I would focus on completely. The training was held the very same week I returned from my sabbatical, and in that last week leading up to it, I was drafted—aggressively and with a significant amount of flattery—to co-facilitate two of the training sessions. I reluctantly agreed, showed up nervous and spacey, and co-facilitated the room of 120 researchers. It was not my best facilitation moment, particularly when I lost my train of thought entirely and blurted into the microphone “What the f*** am I trying to say?” Everyone laughed, including me, though my face was quite flushed.
What was perfect about this experience was that it reinforced the very issues I was focused on in other parts of my spiritual and intellectual development: only expect a miracle if I have prepared, do not be distracted by flattery, be abundantly real, and respect my own process (which is sometimes slower than I might desire it to be). In short: lean *hard* on my instinct.
Beth
Posted at 20:41h, 20 JulyGirlfriend! THANK YOU for responding so RICHLY to this invitation. Would you do it all over again? Would you create a newer fancier failure from this experience?! Just thinking out loud with ya. Love,
Beth